This is a bit of a departure from the usual line of business here at TDC, but I figure it is high time I filled you in on the reason for my bouts of silence around these parts. There has been so much going on behind the scenes here that I have failed to stop and take a moment to compose my thoughts and give you an update.
You see, sometime last year I had a bit of revelation when I realized that there were some things I wanted to pursue, some dreams I wanted to make a reality and that I wasn’t getting any younger. So what was I waiting for? I honestly can’t even tell you. What I can tell you is that I have been living with the mentality that things like dreams and life goals – even career goals – are things that happen later, happen at some unknown time in the future, that sit somewhere out in front of the present but certainly aren’t things that happen now.
It is a very weird feeling to suddenly realize that the future is upon me and has been for some time. To realize that if I don’t get my rear in gear, I will have missed my chance to do and become what I love and have always dreamed of. Do any of you relate? Please tell me I’m not the only one who has been asleep on the job, so to speak.
This realization sent me into a bit of a tailspin and made me panic a bit. I mean, I know what my ‘dreams’ are but suddenly I was faced with making some real, big-girl decisions about which of those are something I can see myself doing every single day and which fall more into the camp of ‘nice to think about but likely come with strings attached’ and ultimately involve aspects that I won’t love. It wasn’t easy to take an honest look at myself and my home life and really acknowledge those things that potentially make or break my success in any particular direction.
I also still have relatively young kids. I deal with the constant mom guilt of wanting to be there with them each day and yet finding that it isn’t precisely enough for me to simply raise my children. I need something else to satisfy and define me as an individual.
Balance, however, is not something that defines me in any way, shape or form. I tend to be all in when I’m in, and that seems to be my natural state of being. So I have thrown myself full force into making things happen and shaking things up. First on the list is that I have gone back to school – kind of… I know that my dreams involve more design and designing products, so that is precisely what I am focusing on. You see, many moons ago I went to school for Interior Architecture and Design. I loved every single second of it. But things change and advance, so I enrolled in an online school to brush up on my design skills . I am super duper excited to say that I am actually in theprocess of making my dream of having a full-service interior design-build firm, a reality. Squeal* it is so exciting for me to think about. What have I been waiting for all this time?
I have taken on the occasional design job in the hospitality sector over theyears – hospitality was my area of emphasis – but that is about it. And then this blog happened quite by accident and much to my surprise, developed into it’s own full time job. It has afforded me so many amazing opportunities and become an actual career that people choose – on purpose. It has been 8 years since I published my first blog post and what a wild ride it has been. But, I feel the need to evolve and grow as a human and that means I can’t stay stagnant and continue doing the same things. After all, I have a lot to accomplish in a relatively short time, duh!
I also knocked out a handful of classes on skillshare for surface pattern design, and participated in a couple of workshops. You may remember my partnership with Shutterfly back in October. Well it put me on a collision course with this life goal of mine and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since. The workshops were intense but stretched my creative skill set in so many ways. This is easily an entire post all on it’s own, so I will have to share all of the good stuff on that soon. Needless to say, since balance is not an actual word in my vocabulary, something had to give. I’m afraid it is more than a little obvious that this site has suffered most. I am so sorry, and I heart you guys!
As I am settling into my chosen pursuits, I am feeling like a weight has been lifted and I can see a silver lining. I am starting to think I may be a forever student but I definitely feel like I needed some training to make my dreams a reality. I took the leap and it has done wonders for my mental outlook and general state of happiness. Who knows if it will go anywhere, but I have to at least try. With all of these big changes, I have found a renewed sense of motivation for this site and can see my vision for where I want to take things, much more clearly. That is also an entire post all on it’s own, but I am excited to share all of my thoughts with you on that too! Change is in the air my friends, and if there is one thing I have figured out in my years on this planet – it’s that I absolutely thrive on change, so needless to say I am entirely in my element in this fantastic time of chaos and the great unknown…